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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26748265">What am I going to do without my best friend?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riaeele/pseuds/Riaeele'>Riaeele</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Rizzoli &amp; Isles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>4x12 alternate to canon, F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:49:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,522</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26748265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riaeele/pseuds/Riaeele</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Crying is not how friends are supposed to react to an engagement announcement!"</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What am I going to do without my best friend?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maura was sat folded on her couch, wine glass in hand, letting the soft sounds of her record player wash over her. A book lay discarded on the cushion, her mind focusing on a dark haired woman.</p><p>She barely reacted to her front door bursting open and the confident detective waltzing in like she already owned the place. Her usual smile upon seeing Jane, faltered however when she assessed the look on her best friends face. Jane’s eyebrows were furrowed and she looked deep in thought before addressing Maura.</p><p>“That’s not how friends are supposed to react, Maura”, Jane seethed loudly, not greeting her, bypassing formalities as she rounded on the ME.</p><p>“What do you mean Jane, react to what?”, Maura questioned trying to mask her emotions, although she had a feeling she knew what Jane was referring to, it was the reason for her downtrodden mood.</p><p>“Crying is not how friends are supposed to react to an engagement announcement!”</p><p>Jane had had all day to build her anger once she got over the initial shock of Casey proposing and Maura’s reaction. She felt cheated out of a positive response and hated the guilt that had secretly festered alongside the anger for making her best friend, one of the best people in her life, cry. Still, the anger outweighed the guilt as she stared at Maura, who put her wine glass down and stood from the couch.</p><p>“You’re supposed to squeal and tell me you’re happy for me! Not cry and run off”</p><p>“I can’t do that Jane, and I’m sorry but you need to leave”, Maura sighed.</p><p>“Maura no I’m not going to leave, why can’t you just react normally! For me! I’m supposed to be your best friend” Jane was still fuming, albeit quieter than before as she noticed Maura’s resigned mood. “Why can’t you just be normal…” she trailed off, aware she had said too much, but was too hurt to try and stuff the words back in as she watched Maura react.</p><p>Pain flickered across the honey blonde’s face but was soon replaced by something else, as the ME channelled years of teasing and frustration over her own lack of social skills, something no amount of classes or immersion therapy would be able to correct.</p><p>She had believed Jane was the one person who never cared about her slight awkwardness in certain situations.</p><p>The ME sighed again as she felt the anger fading as quickly as it came due to the distressed look on Jane’s face. Even with them both standing, Jane still appeared to tower over Maura.<br/>“Jane I’m sorry you wanted a different reaction out of me..”</p><p>“Not different Maura, normal, I wanted a normal reaction, the happy, squealing, gushing, normal reaction”</p><p>“I don’t –“</p><p>“Maura please for once could you just-“</p><p>“We’re not exactly normal friends are we Jane?” Maura blurted, internally cursing her lack of a filter.</p><p>Jane blinked, “what exactly is that supposed to mean Maur?” she questioned, the nickname slipping out as Jane tried to comprehend the change in the direction of their conversation.</p><p>“We’re not normal friends”</p><p>“Yes we are Maura, what are you talking about?”</p><p>“No we aren’t Jane, we’re just not”</p><p>Jane could feel herself beginning to get mad in the face of Maura’s statement, her hands gesticulating wildly as her voice rose again “and why is that then? Why aren’t we normal friends?”</p><p>“Because I’m in love with you, you idiot, I love you and you’re engaged to HIM”</p><p>Jane stalled, one hand suspended in the air.</p><p>Maura blinked, eyes wide.</p><p>Jane turned on her heel and ran.</p><p>Maura only comprehended she had gone when she heard the door slam behind her best friend.</p><p>--</p><p><em>Well done Maura, you’ve done it now, she’s never going to speak to you again, of course she doesn’t love you like that and now she’s gone</em><br/>Maura groaned in frustration and returned to her long forgotten wine glass, draining the remains before returning it to the kitchen and in a move uncharacteristic to her nature, left it unwashed in the sink.</p><p><em>Perhaps though,</em> she mused, <em>it’s better that way, I don’t have to watch her pine over someone else even if he’s not worth it, even if he doesn’t deserve her</em></p><p>Sinking down onto her couch, Maura felt the first tear slip down her elegant nose onto the cushion below her. She found herself crying, alone, for the second time that day. Alone. A state she hadn’t been in since befriending Jane and the rest of the Rizzoli family. Something she never really anticipated she would feel again.</p><p>She was so deep in thought she didn’t notice Angela slip through her door until she was wrapped in her warm motherly embrace.<br/>“She’ll come back Maura” the maternal Rizzoli assured her.</p><p>“No she won’t Angela, I crossed a line, I shouldn’t have said anything and now she’s gone” Maura didn’t question how the woman holding her knew her tears were about Jane.</p><p>“She loves you Maura, there’s no line you could cross that my daughter wouldn’t follow you over”</p><p>Maura sat in silence, just basking in the comfort her words provided as Angela left quietly.</p><p>--</p><p>Jane drove to her apartment where she knew Casey would be waiting, unblinking, mind going 100 miles an hour, the car not far behind, through the streets of Boston.</p><p>She knew what she had to do. Her and Casey would never work, not when they loved the job more than each other, not when they both felt like they could only breathe on opposite sides of the world from each other, not when she was in love with someone else.</p><p>Especially not when that someone else loved her too.</p><p>At this thought, Jane let out a small giggle,<em> Maura loves me! She loves me back!</em></p><p>He knew, of course, from the look on her face as she returned the ring to his open palm. A clear piece of pressurised carbon as Maura called it, she felt oddly detached from the cool metal as he closed his fist around it.<br/>Casey left her apartment in silence, without a backwards glance.</p><p>--</p><p>Jane returned 2 hours later, exhausted, cold and in love.</p><p>She felt wrong using her key and storming into Maura’s house for the second time that evening, especially because what she wanted to say needed Maura’s attention. Jane wanted her to hear it willingly.</p><p>Her ring finger was glaringly empty as she gently knocked on the door of Maura’s town house, but Maura refused to open her door. The blonde decided she had been through enough heart ache that day.<br/>Jane after all, had left.</p><p>“Maura I’m sorry, please honey let me in”</p><p>“Jane you left already, I get it, you’re with him, please just go..” Maura turned to walk back to her couch.</p><p>“Maura, I broke up with Casey”</p><p>The woman behind the door paused at that, slowly pivoting to face the door as if she could see the wild haired woman on the other side.</p><p>The wild haired woman on the other side who had broken up with Casey.</p><p>The wild haired woman on the other side who she was hopelessly in love with.</p><p>She broke up with Casey.</p><p>Jane ran her fingers through her hair in barely restrained frustration, “Maur, please I know you’re still there”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“Fine ok, I don’t care who hears anymore, I have to tell you..<br/>Maura I love you too. No, do you know what, not too, Maura I’m in love with you and I have been for the longest time”</p><p>She couldn’t be, she couldn’t get her hopes up, Maura wasn’t convinced she could survive Jane leaving again.</p><p>“Maura, baby, please, I’m so in love with you it drives me to distraction, god, if I had any idea you felt the same, do you think I would’ve even given Casey more than a cursory glance? He’s going back to Afghanistan, we’re done”</p><p>Jane sounded closer than before, like she had moved towards the house. At this, Maura realised she was still listening to the woman of her dreams profess her love for her, hearing words she had only ever dreamed of hearing, through a door.</p><p>“Maura I’m so sorry for what I said, you’re anything but normal but it’s the best thing about you. I love everything about you”</p><p>Stunned, the honey blonde reached for the door handle and pulled it open to come face to face with a flushed Jane Rizzoli. All her words and earlier anger flew out of her body as Jane’s face absolutely lit up at the sight of Maura in her trademark silk pajamas. Standing on her front door step, Jane wondered why she thought she’d ever need or want anyone else.</p><p>“Hi” she said, with a dazzling grin, stepping forward towards the ME.</p><p>Maura was still at a loss for words, but it didn’t matter as Jane strode in, so similar to her earlier actions, but this time instead of yelling she closed the door, grabbed Maura by her waist and pulled her in for a kiss.</p><p>Maura sighed as Jane’s perfect lips touched hers, finally.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hiiiii<br/>This is how I think season 4 episode 12 actually should've gone!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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